Mom of Many

Who am I? How did I become this woman I am today? I was reading a blog on a well known baby website about a lady who has 6 children and her journey to have them. Her story is so similar to mine. Originally, Tony and I did not really think or voice to each other at least, how many children we planned on having. We had Lexi less than a year after getting married and she just fit right in. Birth control has never been something I have been good at. I joke that I would not be a good druggie because I have a difficult time remembering vitamins. ;-) I took the mini pill though and thankfully nursing kept my fertility at bay until, well, I became pregnant again when Lexi was 13 months. This time, I was nervous. One child changed our lives, but we were doing well with it. I was not losing any sleep...Lexi was a dream baby. No dividing attention. I worked outside of the home. We still were able to eat out often. 2 babies...well, it rocked my world! Sleep deprivation, nursing, keeping up with a toddler and a newborn all while working outside of the home. It was too much for me! Realizing that I wasn't making that much money and I was very stressed with how our life had changed caused me to quit my job. Alivia was a high needs baby for me that stayed high needs for quite a while. (She is a very sweet, helpful child now). I had no doubt we were done. I actually bottle fed her and was on the depo shot (no need to remember a pill daily ;-) Then, doubt creeped in....hmmm...maybe I didn't feel done afterall. When Alivia was 2...and I like to say that she had terrible two's from 6 months until 3....we decided to try for another. The first time for us actually thinking about and trying for a baby! Allie fit in perfectly from the start. She was a great baby and it was almost too easy adding her to our family! But...we still longed for a son! Is it crazy to want another baby after 3 already? Could I be a good mom to more than 3? After wrestling with this for a bit, we realized our family was not complete. This was the point of no return. We knew we were going to be different than most at this point...and you know what, it is so freeing not caring what the majority thinks anymore! Domenick was another easy transition. Though not a good sleeper until well after a year old, he fit right in. Having a boy has been so much fun! It really is a whole different perspective and I do love it! He is such a momma's boy, so snuggly at one time and rough and tumble at another. You'd think I would be satisfied, right! We should be done! Well, 22 months later Lainey joined us. This time, I was supposed to have a tubal after birth. 5 is bordering crazy right!?!? And we all have to bed done at some point! My doctor, however, got involved in a complicated procedure and was unable to perform it. 6 weeks post partum, supposed to have the surgery again...did not work out again! Lainey has been such a blessing to our family. All the kids just dote on her and she is such a smiley little baby! At 3 1/2 months old, she is already sleeping all night! She is just a chunky roly poly. So, now we're done right...though no surgical measures have been taken? Well...not exactly! I know...if you are reading this...not sure anyone does anymore...I am not a regular blogger... If you knew me growing up, I was soooo not a kid person. If you knew me in college, I was going to be a professional with possibly 2 kids. Haha! Like the blogger I read, I do not feel our family is complete. I feel as if someone is missing. I would love to be able to give Domenick a brother. I know I am not in charge of that part and either way, boy or girl, I do feel we are just not finished. I know this may seem crazy to some. It's okay...a large family is not for everyone. I respect other's choices in family size. For us, though I absolutely love the chaos, the hugs and kisses, the kid's love for each other. I love my life...and yes, as crazy as it seems I am a mom of many!