Exhaustion and Nausea and Bloating, Oh My!

You guessed it. We are expecting our 6th and absolute final baby. Haha, I know we have said this before, but this time I am SERIOUS! I never saw myself as a mom to so many children. It wasn't what I set out to do and truth be told, we had decided to stop. I had an appointment coming up next Monday to determine our next step. Well, we were just a little too late. I am not sure how far along I am because I was nursing Alaina, our 11 month old and I have not had a post-partum cyle as of yet. If I had to guess I would say between 6 and 8 weeks. My first appointment will be December 5th and I will find out then.
All the questions people have for us, like how in the world do you find time to make a baby? How do you afford all of them? How do you give them enough attention? WELL...we just do. I get asked these types of questions very regularly with our 5 and I am sure with 6 it will be even more frequent and invasive. But, the truth is, most days I don't feel like we have a ton of kids. We get along just fine. They are kids, so they have trying moments and fighting and being bull-headed, but they really are really good kids. We discipline and teach and train and spend time with them trying to create good, solid individuals. We are not perfect, but we do our best to meet each person's needs.
We were not expecting to be pregnant. In fact, I signed up for 3 classes in the spring to get a little ahead. HAHA. Now, 2 is definitely the max for me for a while. I may actually have to take summer off. It does throw a curveball into my plans because I had planned to begin practicum next fall and TA for a class. Now, I don't see how that would be possible.
I was a little sad at first because I am a planner. When things go off course a bit, it throws me for a loop. But, that's life, right? I have thought about it and so what if I finish a year later than planned? Or so what if I get an EdS instead of a PsyD? My true job is to raise these little people and that is what matters the most to me.
I will still finish! I say that because I am a mom, but I also have other dreams and I fully believe that is a-okay. Also, quite honestly, when they are all teenagers and beyond, I have no doubt we will need me to have an income. Babies are cheap! Big kids are expensive!!!
We are so blessed though and are able to provide for these children emotionally, mentally and physically.

So, December 5th we shall find out how far along we are and when we are due. I will also plan my tubal...no ifs ands or buts this time!!! We are at capacity for our home and our van. I am hoping to go in there and be 12 weeks already. If so, I will find out what we are having at our next appointment! How cool is that?

So, be happy for us and think we are crazy if you want. We are happy and maybe even a little crazy.

The last 7 weeks...

Are a blur! I have been in graduate school taking my very first class...Marriage and Couples Therapy. It is a PhD level course and whew! I was very worried about my skill level for such a course so many years after having been in class.
Here is what made me worried: 60% of my grade: 2 papers up to 21 pages each, a reflection paper on my family that I have to find and COUNSEL, yes, counsel. 15% of my grade: 1 1/2 hour presentation. 10% of my grade participation in class discussions. 15% of my grade: content of discussions.
Yes: All of my grade is writing in some form or fashion...which must be done in APA format. APA who?
Counseling....that is a tough one for someone with absolutely no counseling background or previous classes in theories.
Presentation: 1.5 hours...that is a long time to talk!

I have been spending about 4-5 hours a day/night working on school work. Yes, in addition to my regular life responsibilities.

BUT: I am halfway through the class and I have an A. I spent the last 3 days on campus for our residency portion. I feel very confident now. The fear is gone. I know I am capable. I have decided to pursue my PsyD!

I thoroughly enjoyed being in class...contributing ideas, listening to other ideas, learning from some great minds.
I am a great wife and mother (most of the time). I am a capable (barely) keeper of our house, a pretty decent cook, a pretty decent friend.
But...I am also a student...a woman with ideas. I am so excited to be on this journey.

I am on the downward slope of the class. ONLY 1 paper, 3 more counseling sessions, 7 more discussion questions and the reflection paper left! I will make it and I am determined to get an A.

Remind me of this next semester when I might be rethinking all of this, haha. I am taking School Psych Ethics (Yawn, boring...but necessary) and Cognitive Assessment (hopefully slightly more interesting). And...I have to wean my poor, sweet baby at 9 1/2 months because I will be on campus for 7 days straight in October. But...if I can stick it out and do 2-3 classes a semester, I will be one of a few PsyD School Psychs here in FL...which will make me a hot commodity, especially if I want to teach at the University level!

Life is never boring folks!

Mom of Many

Who am I? How did I become this woman I am today? I was reading a blog on a well known baby website about a lady who has 6 children and her journey to have them. Her story is so similar to mine. Originally, Tony and I did not really think or voice to each other at least, how many children we planned on having. We had Lexi less than a year after getting married and she just fit right in. Birth control has never been something I have been good at. I joke that I would not be a good druggie because I have a difficult time remembering vitamins. ;-) I took the mini pill though and thankfully nursing kept my fertility at bay until, well, I became pregnant again when Lexi was 13 months. This time, I was nervous. One child changed our lives, but we were doing well with it. I was not losing any sleep...Lexi was a dream baby. No dividing attention. I worked outside of the home. We still were able to eat out often. 2 babies...well, it rocked my world! Sleep deprivation, nursing, keeping up with a toddler and a newborn all while working outside of the home. It was too much for me! Realizing that I wasn't making that much money and I was very stressed with how our life had changed caused me to quit my job. Alivia was a high needs baby for me that stayed high needs for quite a while. (She is a very sweet, helpful child now). I had no doubt we were done. I actually bottle fed her and was on the depo shot (no need to remember a pill daily ;-) Then, doubt creeped in....hmmm...maybe I didn't feel done afterall. When Alivia was 2...and I like to say that she had terrible two's from 6 months until 3....we decided to try for another. The first time for us actually thinking about and trying for a baby! Allie fit in perfectly from the start. She was a great baby and it was almost too easy adding her to our family! But...we still longed for a son! Is it crazy to want another baby after 3 already? Could I be a good mom to more than 3? After wrestling with this for a bit, we realized our family was not complete. This was the point of no return. We knew we were going to be different than most at this point...and you know what, it is so freeing not caring what the majority thinks anymore! Domenick was another easy transition. Though not a good sleeper until well after a year old, he fit right in. Having a boy has been so much fun! It really is a whole different perspective and I do love it! He is such a momma's boy, so snuggly at one time and rough and tumble at another. You'd think I would be satisfied, right! We should be done! Well, 22 months later Lainey joined us. This time, I was supposed to have a tubal after birth. 5 is bordering crazy right!?!? And we all have to bed done at some point! My doctor, however, got involved in a complicated procedure and was unable to perform it. 6 weeks post partum, supposed to have the surgery again...did not work out again! Lainey has been such a blessing to our family. All the kids just dote on her and she is such a smiley little baby! At 3 1/2 months old, she is already sleeping all night! She is just a chunky roly poly. So, now we're done right...though no surgical measures have been taken? Well...not exactly! I know...if you are reading this...not sure anyone does anymore...I am not a regular blogger... If you knew me growing up, I was soooo not a kid person. If you knew me in college, I was going to be a professional with possibly 2 kids. Haha! Like the blogger I read, I do not feel our family is complete. I feel as if someone is missing. I would love to be able to give Domenick a brother. I know I am not in charge of that part and either way, boy or girl, I do feel we are just not finished. I know this may seem crazy to some. It's okay...a large family is not for everyone. I respect other's choices in family size. For us, though I absolutely love the chaos, the hugs and kisses, the kid's love for each other. I love my life...and yes, as crazy as it seems I am a mom of many!

Happy Birthday Alexis!

8 years old today!
Daddy works late tonight, so we had pizza for dinner and she is having a friend sleep over. They are doing crafts and playing little girl make believe.
Tomorrow night we are doing family birthday dinner...our tradition is you get to choose anything you want and I will cook it. She has scoured the cookbooks and decided on tuscan white bean soup (Giada recipe), steaks with a olive and balsamic glaze (Giada) and sauteed broccoli....she is definitely her parent's child. ;-)
We are also, finally, decorating our tree while enjoying some hot cocoa and Christmas music. It's actually cold enough here in FL to have hot cocoa!!!
And...for the grand finale...(we make big deals about birthdays at the Devescovi house!) on Sunday we are having a treasure chest party for her friends with a treasure hunt, pin the treasure on the ship, decorating treasure boxes and a treasure chest pinata...along with a weanie roast and homemade treasure filled cupcakes.
After the friend portion, our families are coming. My father-in-law's and niece's birthdays are tomorrow, so we will have a big celebration for everyone. I am making Emeril's recipe for a fresh ham, Giada's parmesan baked mashed potatoes, baked ziti, salad and bread! Do you see a running theme here....FOOD!!!

All of this rests on little Lainey staying put at least through the weekend. Now...I have never had a baby early, but you never know!

Mom, Wife, Friend, Chef, Maid, Taxi Driver....

Of course I wear many hats these days...those are just a few.

And, as of May I will also be a student again. I got accepted into the Master's program for school psychology today!!!!!

I am relieved, excited, nervous...and I am sure the list will grow as May approaches.

At one time...many, many years ago, I thought I would get my master's in psychology or possibly my PhD. Well, life took me in a totally different direction...one I couldn't possibly have known or prepared for....marriage and 5 children. I have absolutely no regrets about this path. I love being a wife and mother and all that entails.

For the past 6 years I have been a stay at home mom and that has been a huge blessing for our family. Here and there I have held side jobs, such as my current babysitting gig...but, basically my priority has been to stay home for our children. I honestly never seriously thought about going back to work or going back to school for a career. However, that's the new path my life is taking. And, I really am so excited!

I am not naive. I know it will be difficult to juggle everything while in school and once I start working (4 years down the road). But, I have a great support system....and I really can't wait to be involved in some really thought provoking, challenging, intellectual studies.

Reflections of a Mommy

This year my Alexis informed me that she would love a pedicure for her birthday, which is in 2 weeks....not just her toes painted, but a real pedicure. She will be 8 and is not too many years away from being taller than I am. Well, it just so happens that this weekend my other children are with my parents, since Lexi has a swim meet in Orlando.

So, last night Lexi and I got a date night. We each had a pedicure, which she loved! Then, we went to a pizza place that is similar to Chuck e Cheese and had dinner and played a few games. What a nice time we had.

She really makes me so proud and I admit that I don't tell her often enough. I am constantly making sure she remembers manners, remembers to pick up after herself, remembers homework, is respectful....so many things that I do feel are so important. But, I don't want her memories to be of only those things. I want her to remember how much I really love her and love spending time with her. She is blossoming into a child any parent would be proud of. I pray she continues on the path she is on. She has such potential! I also pray the years slow down a little ;-)...these last 8 years have flown by. In the next 8, she will be driving a car! Yikes! The days go slowly sometimes, but the years just go too fast! I am in no hurry for my little girl(s) and boy to grow up! The chaos, messes, headaches, busyness...is nothing compared to the giggles, hugs, kisses, love.

In the Next Month..

I will be on maternity leave from babysitting this time next week for 12 weeks!

Thanksgiving will have come and gone...this year we are going to a friend's house. I am so excited! We have done Thanksgivings with family and by ourselves. This is our first year going to Keli's house. The kids will have a ball and all I have to bring is an appetizer...thank goodness for not having to make a full meal!

All my Christmas shopping will be done. I am close to being done now!

My oldest daughter will turn 8 and we will be having a pirate/treasure hunt party!

I should have received a decision regarding admission into the school psychology program.

I will have had our last baby and a tubal. 28 days from today if Lainey hasn't come on her own, I will be induced!

What a crazy, busy, lifechanging month ahead of us!